Podimenike Wijekoon Udalagama (1933-2002)
Seven years ago today (January 18: Sri Lanka), my beloved Mom, Podimenike Wijekoon Udalagama passed away peacefully, at age 69. At a time I had already made arrangements to fly to Sri Lanka from Canada on February 18, 2002, she passed away exactly a month earlier.
On January 12, 2009, I completed 10 years of my spiritual service in North America, and on January 07, 12 years of spiritual mission overseas. Coming from a remote village, Dedunupitiya in the District of Kandy, Sri Lanka, I would not have come this far, if not for my mom's unsurpassed caring and nurturing that she gave all her six children. Amid cruelty and hatred from my uncles and aunts, Mom, you struggled to raise your children, since our father's sudden death.
You gave your children a sound education. You proved the Buddha's teaching that parents are the first teachers of their children ("pubbacariya'ti vuccare."). You encouraged me to be bilingual (Sinhala-English) right from my childhood, and it's evergreen in my memory. What a far-sighted mom you were!
Just before your last breath, you spelled my name, and asked my younger sister whether you'd be lucky to see me. You never made it. Neither did I. If I were able to fund my airfare on time, I should have made it in December 2001, when you were hospitalized, and urgently in need of seeing your son you had not seen for many years.
You still guide me, and I know that.
In spite of my spiritual practice, I found it extremely difficult to cope with the fact that I failed to fulfill your wish that you see me, your long lost son. But, again, it gives me relief to think I was in the other corner of the world helping fellow human beings in need, so that, amid severe pain you managed to tell the rest of your children; "he (myself) is helping the world, and therefore, I'm happy."
Mom, I'm happy I could fulfill your biggest goal that I learn the Dharma and other languages, and become a humble Buddhist monk, capable of teaching the noble message of the Buddha to the world. Mom, I'll improve myself, as I know just a little. I'll never let conceit kill me. I'll rationally and calmly respond to the world that debates with me, which is one of the many qualities I've learned from you.
I remember when you were hesitant to give me your permission to become a monk, in spite of my repeated request and hunger strike for three days. I remember when you finally blessed me and let me go. Most importantly, I remember when you gave me a piece of advice, as I was leaving my lay life on January 8, 1981, that the life of a monk is the hardest in the world.
Mom, you were right, absolutely right. Everything you taught me is right. The difficulties are beyond words. You knew I'd make it.
Thank you Mom for giving me to the world to serve the world. Thank you Mom for teaching me to radiate loving kindness to my uncles and aunts in my childhood, and beyond, wherever I'm. Thank you Mom for comforting me, when I could no longer bear pain and suffering, as a child being insulted, ridiculed and looked down upon by my relatives.
You cooked delicious food and fed the enemies that insulted you the previous day. You responded to the hateful relatives with a big smile and compassion that came from the bottom of your heart. You asked your children not to hurt others but to soothe them, simply because nobody like to get hurt but consoled.
At your funeral on January 20, 2002 at our humble ancestral home, the Venerable Uparatana, Abbot of Dedunupitiya Temple, and many other monks and people called you a "mother of unparalleled courage."
Thank you for teaching by example that one must not be boastful and egoistic of one's abilities and talents, but that the more one is matured and educated, the humbler one must become.
I recall that there were numerous sleepless nights in your life. I recall that you rushed to counsel suffering villagers at Dedunupitiya, while transforming your own suffering into selfless help. I recall when you taught me never to steal from others, never to cheat on others, no matter how difficult my life is.
Mom, you were no ordinary mother.
I remember when I struggled to overcome my desire of getting fed by you, the first time I came to see you, since my ordination as a little novice monk. You sensed that, and said to me in a calming voice; "Venerable Sir, you're are Buddhist monk." I felt shy.
A moment later, I heard a woman cry in the kitchen.
I never wanted to ask you why. You never wanted to tell me. In distinctively rural Kandyan Buddhist culture, we would feel each other rather than express to one another.
Mom, I wanted to take you to Buddhagaya (Bodhgaya), the Place of Enlightenment of the Buddha in India to fulfill a commitment I had made. Before I fulfilled it, you left the world. Almost everyday, I hear children taking their parents to Buddhagaya. I'm happy for them.
By the way Mom, I haven't still made it for Buddhagaya.
I hardly believe you're gone.
My Canadian and American friends ask how I keep my balance amid untold difficulties in life. It's not just because of my spiritual training, it's because of YOUR courage and ability to raise to challenges that live in MY blood.
Mom, I remember when I made a commitment, as I was leaving my lay life. And I live up to it. On this day, I tell you again that I'll continue to help the world, no matter what, until the last moment in life.
Thank you for granting me my life that I have dedicated to helping the world.
Thank you for teaching me to be sympathetic towards the jealous, to be happy for the rich, and to help the poor to the best of my ability.
Thank you for proving the Buddha's teaching that a mother is a household Buddha. You never preached that to me but showed me by example in silence.
Samsara is dreadful. The world is blinded, and it's just a few people who can see. You could easily see, while most around you were blinded.
The Mahapajapatigotami Apadana reminds me that the Buddha was still a son to his mother. Why not me, this average man who is nothing before the Buddha.
Mom, THANK YOU!
You son sure will continue.
May you attain the Supreme Bliss of Nirvana!
Upananda Thero Dedunupitiye (U W Anura Udalagama)
(Picture: By courtesy of www.berglovespizza.files.wordpress.com)
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